Causes of Cancer

Hereditory Factors

Dealing with Diagnosis

Telling Others

Supporting Someone with Cancer

Understanding Your Illness

Self Image

Caring for Yourself

Telling others

Sharing the diagnosis isn’t easy. You may feel uncomfortable talking about personal matters. You may be unsure of how you’ll react when you tell family and friends or how they’ll respond.

Having other people know the diagnosis helps you and your family share anxiety and fears and build strength. This can help you through difficult times. You don’t have to face cancer alone.

Sometimes you may feel nobody understands. At a time when you need support, try not to shut others out.

Tips

• Break the news when you feel ready.
• Ask for help. Family or friends may be able to tell others if you don’t feel like it.
• Be prepared for questions. After hearing you have cancer, people will want to know what treatment you are having, etc.
• Answer their questions if you can.
• Draw boundaries. You don’t have to share every detail about the diagnosis with everybody. Let family and friends know when you feel uncomfortable.

Should you tell?

Trying to hide the diagnosis is usually unsuccessful. Sooner or later family and friends learn that you have cancer. Most sense something is troubling you, even before they know why.

Your family and friends may feel hurt or left out if you don’t tell them.

When family must decide

Sometimes family members are the first to learn the diagnosis. They may think the person is too young or too old to be told.
Most people with cancer sense something is wrong. They may have been feeling unwell or had lots of tests. People with cancer usually say they want to know so they can decide what treatment to have and, if the outlook is poor, how to spend their remaining days.

How do I tell the children?

Children usually guess something is wrong even if they don’t know what it is. It’s understandable that parents want to protect their children from upsetting news, but some parents find they later regret not telling their children. By telling the children you give them the opportunity to ask questions and to express their feelings about was is happening. Many children also need reassurance that your illness is not their fault. When not told what is wrong, children may imagine the worst, feel left out or become angry at the lack of attention.

What and how much to tell the children will depend on their ages.

If you don’t feel you can tell the children, you may like to ask your doctor or a relative to do it for you.

Sharing feelings...